My name is joe
There once was a farmer whose wife had died and left him with three beautiful teenage daughters. Every weekend, when they went out on dates, the farmer would stand at the door with his shotgun, making it clear to their dates he wanted no trouble from them. Another Saturday night came around. About 7 p.m., there was a knock on the door. He answered and the young man said, “hi, my names joe. I’m here for flo. I’m taking her to the show. Is she ready to go? The farmer thought he was a clever boy and wished them a good time.
A few minutes later, another knock was heard. A second boy appeared and said, “hi, I’m Eddie. I’m here for betty. I’m taking her for spaghetti. I hope she’s ready. “he thought that he must know joe, but bade them off as well with his best wishes.
A few minutes after that, a third knock was heard “hi, I’m chuck. “the farmer shot him.
A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red light on in his rear view mirror. He thinks “I can outrun this guy, “so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway-60, 70, 80, 90, miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy figures he can’t outrun the cop and gives up. He pullover to the curb.
The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car. He leans down and says ‘listen mister. I’ve had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I’ll let you go.”
The man thought for a moment and said, “three weeks ago, my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your cruiser in my rear view mirror. I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her back to me.
Two more aisles
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three-year-old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her no. the little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, ‘now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don’t be upset. It won’t be long.” Soon they came to the candy aisle, and the little girl began to shout for candy, and when told she couldn’t have any, began to cry. The mother said, there. Monica, don’t cry-only two more aisles to go, and then well be checking out.
Then they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamored for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there be no gum purchased. The mother patiently said. “Monica, we’ll be through the checkout stand in 5 minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap.”
The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. “I couldn’t help noticing how patient you were with little Monica, he began. Whereupon the mother said, “I’m Monica. my little girls name is tammy. “