A boy and a frog
One day, a boy was walking down a road when a frog called to him, “boy. If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess.”
The boy picked up the frog, smiled at it, then placed the frog into his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog said, “boy if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I will stay with you for a week”
The boy took the frog from his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog put it back into his pocket, a few minutes later, the frog said, boy if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will do anything you want.”
The boy took the frog from his pocket, smiled, and put it back. Finally, the frog cried, “boy, what is the matter, I have told you that I am a beautiful princess, and if you kiss me, I will stay with you and do anything you want”
The boy took the frog from his pocket and said, “look, I am an engineering student, I have no time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool”.
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting in the the kitchen with a cup of coffee, and he appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. What’s the matter dear? she whispers as she steps into the room. Why are you not sitting down here this time of the night? The husband looks up from his coffee, do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16? He asks solemnly. Yes, I do she replies.
The husband paused, the words were not coming easily. Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love/ yes I remember. Said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. Do you remember when he shoved the double barrel shotgun in my face and said. “either you marry my daughter or I’ll send you to jail for 20 years. “yes I remember that too. She whispered softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, I would be getting out today”.
A diner quickie
A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing very short skirt and legs that won’t quit came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, “what would you like, sir?’
He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, “A quickie.” The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and ask again answers, ‘a quickie, pleas.”
Again the thoroughly checks her out again answers, a quickie, please.” This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding ‘smack” and storm away. A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, “um, I think it’s pronounced quiche.”